Dean Jones says:

Good!  Here is the contract package:

**ONE guaranteed trip to a conference each year for two years

**$1,449 for software to analyze data

**$15,000 for hardware (i.e., special computer processor and other equipment)

**A nine-month salary at the 65th percentile. Further, you will get a 5 percentile bonus each year, ranging from your 65th percentile base pay up to the 95th percentile (if you publish six different papers with six different co-authors).  For each additional paper with the same co-author, you will get the equivalent of a 1 percentile bonus.

**One graduate research assistant for Three calendar years; in return, you agree to apply for external funding and you agree to list our university as your co-affiliation on any already-started projects.

**Required to teach two summer sessions, neither of which will count toward your normal, nine-month, teaching load

**Four-day-a-week teaching schedule during the nine-month academic year.

Welcome to our university!"

Critique: 

This was a clever resolution of the issues and a fine agreement.  You may wish to try again to see if you can do even better.