Once you ask, "What are your concerns?" then you have a chance to hear them. You don’t have to agree with his initial position, "NO."

However, you do have to agree to consider his underlying concerns and interests.

His interests could be any of several things:

-Perhaps he doesn’t think you are mature enough to be out that late.

-Perhaps he doesn’t like your friends.

-Perhaps he doesn’t think there will be enough chaperones.

-Perhaps he has heard negative things about this particular church ("My buddy at work says that they handle snakes at that church!").

-Perhaps he is afraid that you will "get religion" and criticize him for smoking or you'll become a missionary and move to another country.

Who knows? You won’t know – if you don’t ask!

Suppose that you do ask and you discover that his main concern is that there won’t be enough chaperones for this event.

Again, you don’t have to agree with his position ("NO"); but you have to agree that his

concern is a valid one that should be satisfied. Can you think of any obvious solutions that

would enable you to go to the event and satisfy his concern that there be enough chaperones?