Dean Jones says:

"You know, there is a saying, 'people in Hell want ice water!'  You haven't provided me with any compelling reasons for why you need two grad assistants for three years.  I'm not here to fund your ego trip or quest for power.  

Here is the contract package I'd like to offer you:

**ONE graduate assistant for one year.

**FOUR guaranteed trips to conferences each year for two years

**$1,000 for software to analyze data

**$10,000 for hardware (i.e., special computer processor and other equipment)

**A nine-month salary at the 55th percentile

**Required to teach three summer sessions, none of which count toward your teaching load

**Three-day a week teaching schedule."

Your response:

1.  OK...I accept your offer.

2.  But I DO want them, because I want to support my research program.