Dean Jones says:

"Yes, certainly.  For this review period, research is the most important aspect of a professor's job for our college and its re-accreditation! (Of course, teaching is also important...)  Why do you think you are even sitting here, having this conversation with me?"

Your response:

1.  Let's consider what might happen if you DON'T hire me...It could jeopardize the re-accreditation effort, right?  I really think that I can help the university avoid that loss.  Also, contrast that feeling with the happy feeling that you will get from getting a successful re-accreditation!

2.  I really think that you'll be getting a high-powered researcher, IF we can come to terms on my salary!

3.  Frankly, I think I am sitting here because you are desperate. If you hire me, I'll be doing you a big favor, because my research publications will help you get re-accreditation.