You are a junior high school teenager who wants to go to an "All-Nighter" recreational event sponsored by a local church. It will involve a youth service followed by a variety of activities at different locations in town and shuttle busses will take people from one place to another (bowling, movies, a gymnasium, etc.) and these places will stay open all night just for this group. You decide to approach your father and ask for permission to go.

You first have to ask yourself why you want to go this event: Is it for the "freedom" of being "out from under your parent’s supervision?" Is it for "the thrill of staying up late?" Is it so you can have fun with your friends? Is it so you can evangelize (or at least set a good example for) your acquaintances from school? Is it so you can grow spiritually from the youth service?

Once you understand your own motivation more fully, you can then ask yourself: "If I can’t go, then what other options exist that might satisfy my underlying interests?" If, for example, your main motivation is to go bowling with your friends (you "party animal," you!), then you might explore bowling as a separate activity on a different night.

In this example, you are assessing your own goals, priorities, and interests.

Next, you have to try to understand the other side’s priorities and concerns.

This is important because, ideally, you would like to be able to satisfy both your own interests and their interests too! Satisfying two, sometimes contradictory, sets of interests is why integrative bargaining requires a problem-solving orientation.