Dean Jones says:

"Sometimes I think people should use glue-stick instead of chap-stick...

You do know that when you engage in too much self-promotion, it only comes across as arrogant, right? 

Anyway, I do want to support faculty research -- especially if it involves mentoring undergraduates.  Therefore, I am willing to raise your salary to the 59th percentile IF you agree to supervise two independent study -type undergraduate research projects each year.  I'll also increase your software budget by $75. 

Here is the new contract package I'd like to offer you:

**FOUR guaranteed trips to conferences each year for two years

**$1,075 for software to analyze data

**$10,000 for hardware (i.e., special computer processor and other equipment)

**A nine-month salary at the 59th percentile.

**You agree to supervise two independent study research projects each year.

**Required to teach three summer sessions, none of which count toward your teaching load

**Three-day a week teaching schedule."

How will you respond?

1.  I appreciate your flexibility in terms of the number of conferences.  I accept your generous offer.

2.  If you reduce the number of summer sessions to one, I will accept.

3.  I'm sorry, but you will have to do better than that.  I'm not going to baby-sit a bunch of undergraduate researchers while they learn the ropes.  I've got my own research agenda to pursue!