Dean Jones says:

"I don't mean to be rude, but NO, I don't 'have to do better than that.'  After all, I have a job; you don't. 

Seriously, I think the salary is appropriate for a fresh Ph.D.  I also think that I've given you a very generous allowance for both hardware and software to facilitate your research.  What specific aspects of this offer are a problem for you?"

Your response:

1.    As I understand that our college will be going through re-accreditation soon. Don't you think that my research portfolio will help you with that re-accreditation effort?

2.  I think I offer some unique qualifications...

3.  If you don't hire me, how will you cover your upcoming course schedule?